Alright everyone! Finally, after weeks of waiting, Once Upon a Time is back!
But, you know, I have my doubts about this episode (as does Jorge Garcia, from the way this picture looks!). Maybe it was a weird episode to start back with, maybe the writer was not one of my favorites, I’m not totally sure.
Let’s get to it!
Stuff About Things that You Should Already Know
Cora and Hook are in Storybrooke, and are causing a ton of mischief. Regina has decided to join back up with her evil mother Cora in order to take Henry away form Emma once and for all. But Regina’s plan is thwarted when she finds out that Emma and Henry have gone with Mr. Gold (Rumplestiltskin) on his world-wide quest to find his missing son, Baelfire. Regina retreats, no doubt conspiring with her mother on how to overcome this obstacle in their evil plan.
Meanwhile, Hook is being ‘escorted’ to his ship by David, Snow, and Grumpy. They want to look for clues about what Cora is planning to do in Storybrooke, and they just so happen to find a cage with a normal-sized man in it. Only, it’s no ordinary man – it’s a shrunken version of The Giant who lived at the top of the beanstalk!
The Giant wakes up (from being knocked out, I think) and in turn punches David squarely in the jaw before running away. Apparently the giant, whose name is actually Anton, had a run in many years ago with ‘The Prince.’
David realizes that Anton believes he is James, his long-lost twin brother who was originally raised by King George.
FUN FACT! We find out that ‘David’ was his original name from The Enchanted Forest! He is no longer the nameless shepherd! How convenient that it’s the same name…
Now, why is Anton so sore about James? It all comes down to a woman named Jack.
Meet Jacqueline, called ‘Jack’ by most. AKA, Jack the Giantkiller. She and James were hooking up when George walks in on them and proceeds to order James to take care of a wandering giant. Jack, who is no random bedmate as I originally thought, goes along for the adventure.
They find Anton, who has decided to come down to the Human’s Kingdom in order to find comfort. His brothers, all larger than him, constantly make fun of him for his size, calling him Tiny. They also ridicule his love for gold and human objects, when really he should love farming the magic beans that the Giants are so known for. Tiny points out that their harvesting is futile since they no longer give the magic beans out, but the other giants insist that bean growing is their way of life.
So, like any younger and smaller brother, he runs away. Jack and James find him, but instead of attacking him right away they pretend to offer him peace. They give him a piece of a magic mushroom (presumably form Wonderland) to temporarily shrink him. They buy him drinks at a friendly pub, tell him of the kingdom’s financial woes, and seem really grateful when he agrees to give them some of the Giants’ treasure to offset their debts.
You can see where this is going, right?
Tiny goes back to the Giants’ home, only to lead Jack and James straight to the magic beans. Jack and James wage war on the giants, and Jack’s poisoned sword kills all the giants except Tiny. He was only spared because just as the last giant was cut by Jack’s sword, he took it from her and gave her a taste of her own medicine. James leaves her writhing to death on the floor and gets away with his bag of gold, while Tiny holds his dying brother.
Tiny was able to burn down the crops and salt the land so that there was no way that a stray bean could make its way into human hands, but just as his brother is about to die he hands him a small vial containing a live clipping from a bean plant. If he ever finds the right place, Tiny could re-grow the magic beans.
Needless to say, he’s had a really rough life! So, no wonder he smashes David in the face, when he believes that the entire reason he is the last of the Giants is because James attacked his home. Tiny starts ravaging Storybrooke, and David does the noble thing and decide to allow Tiny to kill him in exchange for his word that he wouldn’t destroy Storybrooke or its residents.
David forgot to clear this with his wife, though, because Snow pulls him out of the way just as Tiny is about to land a larger-than-life jump on him. Instead, he makes a huge crater just a fraction of a second before the magic mushroom Regina gave him runs out.
I forgot to mention that Tiny is only able to become Giant-sized because Regina finds him and gives him a different piece of mushroom on behalf of Cora. The rampaging Giant is a perfect distraction to allow Regina and Cora to carry out some secret, but most likely nasty, business.
Meanwhile, Rumple is getting his first taste of the world outside of Storybrooke. He was able to successfully pass across the city limit without losing his memory and reverting back to his ‘cursed self.’
THIS….is where I start having a problem.
Because I know, for a fact, that pre-curse Rumple still had his memories from The Enchanted Forest even though he pretended to be Mr. Gold in Storybrooke. So when he keeps saying over and over again that he’s worried about losing his memory – and reverting back to his Storybrooke self – I became very frustrated. Because WE ALL KNOW that isn’t going to happen.
But something does happen.
While they are waiting in the TSA line at the airport, Emma and Henry try to give Rumple tips on putting his shoes in the security bin. They only run into a problem when the guard tells him that he has to put his cane and Baelfire’s enchanted cloak on the conveyor belt. He begins freaking out, because he isn’t sure that he’ll retain his ‘memories’ if he removes the cloak (which he’s wearing as a scarf). Emma guarantees him that she’ll make sure he keeps his memories, and gets him to take the scarf off.
They worry us for a bit with fuzzy camera lenses and a heartbeat sound effect that seemed to show him losing his memory, but Emma is able to get the ‘scarf’ back on him in time. Again, I have an issue with this because he shouldn’t have ever been in danger of losing his memory, if he always had it even through the curse.
But during the time the scarf was in the security bin, Rumple did actually lose something.
He excuses himself and makes his way into a men’s single restroom. At this point we all commented on how that was the cleanest 1. airport, 2. men’s restroom we’ve ever seen. Rumple locks himself in the stall and proceeds to challenge the sterile toilet cover holder to fisticuffs. The holder wins, because he scrapes up his hand very badly. But why? He did this to test his healing abilities, only to find that they’re gone.
Rumple no longer has any magic.
Meanwhile, Tiny is hanging from a pipe in the humongous hole he made when he tried to kill David. David and the rest of the Storybrookers pull him out of the tunnel, and he finally learns to trust humans again – especially when David points out that he is not James, but his twin brother.
Tiny is so moved that they would risk their lives to save him, even after he tried to destroy the town, that he shows everyone the live clipping of the bean stalk and offers to try and grow some magic beans to get them home.
And with that, Tiny gets to join the Seven Dwarves (because their skills aren’t limited to mining – they also farm!) and receives his very own pickaxe, which labels him Tiny. It’s a name that he hasn’t been called in a long, long time, and he is touched that his brothers mostly annoying but actually very sweet nickname for him endures long after they’ve passed away.
So, you can probably see why this episode wasn’t a huge hit with me. It was sweet, but it felt a lot like the Dreamy episode felt – too sweet, too cute. Plus, the whole not being specific about Rumple’s pre-curse self really got on my nerves.
What did you think?